We stand on the shoulders of giants
…when the necks of classroom teachers are unavailable
Michelle Rhee
No need for an encore if you nailed it the first time
Like Battlefield Earth and Ice Ice Baby, sometimes perfection doesn’t warrant a sequel.
Rhee arrived in a district that was riddled with bureaucratic bloat, crumbling facilities, and teachers who too closely resembled their students. With a television crew and cadre of white-savior 20-somethings in tow, she set about undoing the kind of damage that could only have been caused by generations of professional educators teaching frilly nonsense like music and history.
During her 4-year tenure (now a fireable word), she proved what experts knew all along: that a poly sci grad with 5 weeks of training can get test scores at least as good as a so-called “real” teacher… mostly because they’re more willing to cheat.
After straightening out DCPS once and for all, Michelle decided that a DC Chancellor needs a DC retirement, and promptly became a lobbyist.
Kaya Henderson
Congratulations, Robin: the Batmobile is yours
The Millard Fillmore of DC Chancellors, Henderson became head of DCPS when Michelle Rhee told her there was only one seat in the getaway car.
A proud TFA alum, Henderson knew that data is paramount – unless it works against you, in which case you just invent your own. She made a dent in school overcrowding by graduating an additional 900 seniors who risked taking seats away from those who needed them. And she never forgot what she learned as Rhee’s understudy: some people are just better than others, and they rightly deserve the perks… as long as they can pay.
Kaya demonstrated Twinkie-like longevity, lasting twice as long as Rhee and four times as long as her successor – whoever that was. She can now be found modeling the one thing she never had as emperor: clothes.
Antwan Wilson
Yes, he actually worked here for a minute
The brightest stars burn the quickest, and nobody flames out quite like Antwan.
In a field where establishing a personal brand is paramount, Wilson was nonetheless careful to carry on the lessons of his forebears. From Cliff Janey, he learned that so-called “special education” students really aren’t so special. John Deasy taught him that budgets mean nothing if you have a bold enough vision. And from Kaya Henderson he learned how to game the admissions system – in hindsight, perhaps a bit too well.
Antwan’s no longer allowed in the District, but if your school system is looking for a visionary whose ideas aren’t constrained by experience or burdensome ethics, he’s on the market.
Lewis Ferebee
Trying to defuse a bomb is just giving the bomb more unwarranted attention.
You can’t accuse Lewis Ferebee of being heavy-handed. An anthropomorphic “present” vote, he’s not here to rock the boat – even when that boat’s the Titanic.
Whether your district is in the throes of a sexual abuse scandal or a deadly pandemic, Ferebee’s calm is evident in his trademark email response: “Thank you for the update.“
Ferebee understands what few do: that sweeping problems under the rug is for chumps – far better to pay a charter network to do the sweeping for you. And when DC had the nation’s highest COVID infection rate, he avoided administrative overreach, empowering a hundred principals to handle the logistics and messaging around closures by themselves.
While his current term concludes in 2021, Lewis hopes to continue his (lack of) work well into the future. Even benches, after all, need to be warmed sometimes.